Bestiality Blog

“Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?” a little girl asked.

“No, I don’t think so. Fifi is in heat,” replied the mother.

“What does that mean?” asked the child.

Embarrassed and not wanting to get into a biological discussion with her young daughter, the Mother said, “Oh, just go ask your father. I think he is in the garage.”

The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Fifi for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Fifi was in heat, and that I had to come talk to you.”

Not wanting to have the biological discussion either, the father said, “Bring Fifi over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s rear end with it. “Okay, now you can go for a walk but keep Fifi on the leash and you can only go around the block once.”

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with NO DOG on the leash.

“Where is Fifi?” her father asked.

“She should be here in a minute,” advised the daughter. “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block and another dog is pushing her home.”

Where do horses stay in a hotel?

In the bridle suite.

A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds his horse has been stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling. “Which one of you mothers stole my hoss?” he yells. No one answers. “All right, I’m gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain’t outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas.” He drinks another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to ride out of town. The bartender walks out of the bar and asks, “Say pardner, what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turns to him, and says, “I had to bloody walk home.”

Signs That Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Understand You’re into Animal Sex

10: She wonders why you keep on taking her to petting zoo during dates.

9: She wonders why you spend more time with Lassie, your dog, you do on her.

8: You spend countless hours trying to convince her that being a bitch is not necessarily a bad thing.

7: You find yourself saying, “Come on over, Beast Wars just finished.”

6: “No, No honey, I wasn’t being unfaithful. When I said I had pussies for company, I meant REAL pussies. No! I MEAN CATS! No Honey! I am NOT gay! I meant REAL cats! Animals! Honey? Come back…please?”

5: You tell her you that your dog sleeps with you in your room without mentioning that the two of you do more than just sleep.

4: After having a fight, your sent her a poem. Unfortunately, you copied it from this site.

3: She doesn’t like going into your room because she feels that all of your pets are staring at her.

2: You find yourself forever explaining to her that , ME: Animals You: Shoes

And the number one sign that your Girlfriend doesn’t understand you’re into Animal Sex……

1. You tell her that you want to do it doggy style and she says, “Why did you bring that damn dog with you?”

I fucked a dog sucking Kate. I fucked a dog,
he fucked me, and she sucked a dog.

Signs That Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Understand You’re into Animal Sex

10: He wonders why your other friends giggle to themselves when you tell him you were just giving the dog a bath in your bathroom.

9: He wonders why that eel on his aquarium keeps on dying every time he comes home from a business trip. Note: You were looking after his apartment.

8: He then wonders later why your pussy smell kinda fishy during sex.

7: You find yourself saying, “Come on over, Doggy and I just finished.”

6: He wonders why the dog he gave you last Christmas suddenly seems to hate him now.

5: You tell him you that your dog sleeps with you in your room without mentioning that the two of you do more than just sleep.

4: After having a fight, you get drunk and wake up in a stable. You call your boyfriend to pick you up. He asks, “What the hell happened to you?” You answer, “Riding?”

3: He accepts the fact that when he caught you in the cow pen with white milky fluid on your face you were just milking the cows but got so thirsty and drank the milk afterwards..

2: He doesn’t like going to your place anymore because he feels that all your pets are giving him evil looks.

And the number one sign that your Boyfriend doesn’t understand you’re into Animal Sex……

1. You tell him that you want him to fuck her pussy and he says, “Well, okay honey. But could we please get rid of that large tiger first?”

And here’s another one!!! Have fun!!!

Sarah suck a sucked-hot sash sheep
that sucked of hot-sucked sheep
as the sunshine shone
on the side of the sucked-hot sheep shed.

And here’s another one for you!!! Enjoy!!!

How much of you would a woodchuck fuck
if a woodchuck could fuck you?
A woodchuck would fuck, he would, as much as he could,
and fuck as much you as a woodchuck would
if a woodchuck could fuck you.

More Reasons Why You Should Fuck Animals

You don’t have to spend a fortune buying that diamond ring only to find out that the bitch had already hooked up with the richest guy in the block.

They are open about having multiple partners.

You don’t have to rush to the nearest drugstore late at night to buy a condom.

Sex is better between friends. Who better than Man’s best friend for that matter?

They don’t transmit sexually transmitted diseases.

They don’t get squimish if you want the sex dirty.

They don’t care much about where you fucked them.

They don’t charge you by the hour when fucking them.

Exotic breeds are always affordable and available at the pet shop.

They won’t drive you away by asking, “When are you gonna marry me?”